Healing can be the most painful thing you go through.
I recently had surgery in three different areas of my body. This is the third time I’ve had surgery in the past three years, but this one has been the hardest. The most physically traumatic.
I’d been in pain for a long time, but because of life and work, I kept pushing it aside. I kept going, until my body couldn’t take it anymore.
Even sitting in the surgeon’s room, I was trying to negotiate when I could go in.
“I can’t afford to miss work. We’re busy.”
He looked at me and said, “Work can wait. If this isn’t sorted out now, it’ll only get worse.”
I agreed, but I carried so much guilt for choosing myself. The next day, I was admitted. The surgery turned out to be more complicated than expected. The surgeons were kind and explained everything. A wound care nurse was assigned to support me through recovery.
Since being home, I’ve been learning a few painful truths about healing:
1. You can only avoid things for so long.
Eventually, your body, spirit or life will force you to stop. You can’t outrun what needs attention.
2. Sometimes, others will advocate for your healing when you won’t.
Let them. Don’t brush it off. Sometimes we need someone to remind us that we matter too.
3. Even if you’ve healed before, each wound is different.
This one is deeper. It needs more time, more help. That doesn’t make me weak. It means I’m human.
4. Pain is exhausting.
It’s unfair and draining. Even with medication, the pain is there. Healing doesn’t just hurt physically. It’s emotional, too.
5. Healing will never go how you imagined it.
Healing is painful but healing is what needs to happen
There will be moments that frustrate you, moments that make you feel guilty for needing rest. There will be loneliness. There will be days you feel tired of it all. But that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re in it.
I’ve had to accept that I have no choice but to allow myself the time I need. Feeling bad about it won’t speed things up. Pretending doesn’t help. Fighting the process only makes it harder.
If you’re on your own healing journey, be it physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually, I hope you allow yourself to go through it. Let it be what it is. Let people help. Let the time be what it needs to be.
Healing isn’t easy.
But healing is what needs to happen.
