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Why struggling with guilt is bad

Ngwenya Clive Avatar
Verified by Emotional Intelligence Developer Community-written · Human experiences · Lived insight

Do you have a guilt complex and how do you know if you have one?

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Oxford languages on Google defines a guilt complex as “an obsession with the idea of having done wrong.” For example, “they have a guilt complex when it comes to alcohol.”

How to recognize a guilt complex

It’s having repetitive thoughts whenever you do something you perceive you handled wrong. Whereby you judge yourself badly. The conversations you have with yourself. The Why did I do that again feeling? The Why am I always doing wrong things? Or the most common emotional feeling you get. Why me?

In life, we all have challenges we have to deal with. We’re all going through something, and that’s why we search for answers. Sometimes, you are your worst critic. Judging the smallest tremor in your life as a big earthquake reading 9.4 on the moment magnitude scale. And this is when you see people reacting badly to events which other people may find manageable. Usually other people don’t pay attention to them.

A person will go through something and perceive it as life-changing. Life degrading. The thing people will remember me for. So they blame themselves for doing it. It’s like the example I spoke about in the beginning. When a person has a guilt complex after drinking alcohol. The Why did I act that way criticism the following day? Blaming alcohol as the main denominator. Asking themselves. If alcohol is the problem. Why don’t I stop will be the repetitive question whenever they have a bad episode.

Why struggling with guilt is bad

I should know because I too had bad experiences when I drank alcohol, I was a bad drinker. I would have fun. Talk too much. And criticize myself when I was sober regarding my actions. How come so and so doesn’t act like me when I drink? Why am I weird? I cannot keep my eyes open when I drink. I want to have fun like other people. How come I have a hangover which leaves me drained and low? I don’t like the aftereffects of alcohol. Why don’t I stop?

I bet a lot of people laugh at me? I bet they’re laughing at me now? Oh my god I am a disaster. I’m stupid. Bad. Silly. Why do I drink? I hate myself. And so, I’d go on and on until I drank again. My question to you is. Was I a bad drinker? Yes. But my harsh criticism wasn’t called for. Looking back today, because I don’t drink anymore. Someone can act the same way as me and he or she will wake up the next day and laugh about what they’re told they did last night. The total opposite of how I reacted. The other person doesn’t see their actions the same way I do.

Why struggling with guilt is bad

I stopped drinking for a few reasons. One of which is because I wasn’t a good drinker. But here’s the realisation I had after I stopped drinking. I still remember having the same issues of talking loud and this was not caused by alcohol. I still had the same issues I used to blame on alcohol. But my criticism towards my actions changed.

Stopping to drink helped me see my shortcomings. I stopped blaming alcohol and I realized that my behavior in general needed to change. It wasn’t alcohol related but drinking alcohol amplified it. Upon viewing my actions it led me to discover how my uncontrolled emotions was hurting my well-being.

The guilt complex came from somewhere. Eliminating alcohol helped me understand how to improve my well-being. You can learn how to quit things which harm your life. Eliminating issues builds up your emotional well-being.

Can guilt make you sick? The answer is yes. Can guilt change your behavior? The answer is yes. If you don’t understand how to control your emotions any trigger will affect you negatively. Any event good or thought bad through your eyes can be damaging. Guilt can affect how you respond and how you deal with things. It’s important to understand the origins of your behavior because failure to do so will leave you doubting your strengths while focusing negatively on your weaknesses.

Conclusion

  • Why struggling with guilt is bad

Read my posts on self-confidence. They will help you develop your well-being. When you understand yourself the guilt complex goes away. You take responsibility for your actions and you fix the issues unlike repeating the cycle of self blame. Please leave a comment. I’d like to hear how this post or having a guilt complex has affected you. 

Author

  • Ngwenya Clive

    Clive Ngwenya is the Project Manager at Emotional Intelligence Developer, and a visionary advocate for holistic well-being, dedicated to empowering individuals to enhance their physical, mental, and emotional health. As the founder of this transformative website, Clive’s mission is to provide accessible resources and support for people on their journey towards improved well-being.

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