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Why are we so afraid to be human?

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Verified by Emotional Intelligence Developer Community-written · Human experiences · Lived insight

A personal self-reflection of my resistance towards my imperfections:

Our self-worth is so fickle, we believe if we are human we are less worthy. We believe we must be these other worldly creatures who are perfectly good, perfectly disciplined, right in every way. The problem I see is, people become so defensive because they experience criticism as hits to their self-worth. Because I made this mistake, I am less worthy. Because so and so does not like me, I am less worthy. Because I ate too much today, I am less worthy. Because I said something dumb, I am less worthy. 

Conflict is often perpetuated because we are unable to admit our imperfections because that would make us less worthy, and we cannot have that. We cannot be imperfect humans, we need to be better than that. This mindset is a paradox, because the more we plaster over our imperfections the more imperfect we become. It is when we admit our humanness, our flaws, our hurts, our fears, our mistakes, our embarrassments, our silliness, it is then that we are more willing to feel whole, not perfect, but whole, content and at peace. 

The human being is a fascinating creature rich with paradox, imperfection, good and evil. A human being is made up of many emotions, flaws and strengths. A human being is a creature that seeks out the company of fellow humans, or animals, longs for connection, love and attachment. It is a messy animal, but a clever animal. A strong animal, but a weak animal. It creates art, enjoys music, food and a good time. It cries over losses, it cries over pain, it laughs at a joke and smiles at a stranger. A human being feels lonely, lost and scared. A human being also feels excited, connected and brave. To be a human being is a wonderful experience filled with immense suffering and loss, yet undoubtedly an equal amount of beauty and joy. 

Your self worth does not come from the competitions you have created in your mind; fastest runner, cleverest writer, kindest person, most disciplined person, best body, nicest clothes. Your self-worth comes from gratitude and kindness. You are worthy of being here, taking up space, breathing in the air, and having something of your own to say. 

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  • judevictorcounselling

    Hi! I am a counsellor and author. I have a deep adoration for the complexity and beauty of the human mind. The stark duality of our emotions allow us to participate in expression and creation. My antidote to suffering is the accumulation of knowledge. It brings me great joy to share of what I learn through creative writing.

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One response to “Why are we so afraid to be human?”

  1. Clive Ngwenya Avatar

    I love this: “Your self-worth comes from gratitude and kindness.” So, true.

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