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Anger vs Love

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Verified by Emotional Intelligence Developer Community-written · Human experiences · Lived insight

One day the teacher asked his students, “Why is it that when a person is angry, he will speak in a strong voice or shout?”

One student after thinking for a long time raised his hand and replied, “Because by then he had lost his temper, so he shouted.”

The teacher then asked back, “The other person is either beside him or in front of him. Why shout? Is he unable to speak slowly?”

Almost all the students gave a number of reasons that they thought were correct for their consideration. But none of the answers were satisfactory.

The teacher then said, “When two people are in a situation of anger, the distance between their hearts becomes very far even though they are physically so close. Therefore, in order to reach such a distance, they had to shout. But strangely, the louder they shouted, the less they heard each other. And the louder their voices, the more angry they become, and naturally the distance between them becomes even further. Therefore they were forced to shout even louder.”

The teacher still continued, “On the contrary, what happens when two people fall in love with each other? They don’t have to yell at each other. When they spoke, the sound coming out of their mouths was so smooth and small. No matter how smooth or small their voices are, both of them can hear it so clearly.”

“Why is that?” the teacher asked as he watched his students. They seemed to think very deeply but none of them dared to give an answer.

And the teacher answered, “Because their hearts are so close, and their hearts are not distant. In the end a word doesn’t need to be said, a look in the eye is enough to make them understand what they want to say.”

When we are in anger, let not your heart create distance. Moreover, we should not speak words that bring distance. Perhaps at such times, not saying words is a wise way.

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Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage emotions in yourself and others. It helps people communicate better, make thoughtful decisions, and build healthier relationships.

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  1. Clive Avatar

    Thank you. A word we all need to read and use.

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