I will start this post with a quote from D. Goleman’s book “Emotional Intelligence”. On pages 212 and 213 of my book, the author writes this about emotional excellence:
(translation from Polish):
“If the test of one’s ability to deal with others is the ability to assuage their unpleasant emotions, then calming someone who is raging with rage is arguably evidence of the greatest mastery. The data on anger management and emotional contagion seem to indicate that an effective method in such a case may be to first distract the angry person, then to empathise with their situation and see things through their eyes, and finally to interest them in another matter that will elicit more positive feelings – a kind of emotional judo.”
The skill described above consists of three stages:
- diverting the attention of an angry person
- putting yourself in their shoes and seeing things through their eyes
- getting them interested in another matter
The author called this way of dealing with an angry person “emotional judo”.
Perhaps it is worth trying out this three-step method in our lives, for won’t we encounter such angry people in our ‘fast-paced’ world?
Dariusz Łukasik (the author of DARETOLIVE.BLOG)
Translated with http://www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)
I am a 52-year-old man who loves sharing personal growth ideas. My motto is: Dare to live. It’s YOUR life!
My ebooks and paperbacks (English, Polish) are available on: RIDERO.EU, legimi, virtualo, empik.com, taniaksiazka.pl, pzwl.pl, ksiegarnia.pwn.pl.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage emotions in yourself and others. It helps people communicate better, make thoughtful decisions, and build healthier relationships.
Why is emotional intelligence important for wellbeing?
Emotional intelligence helps people handle stress, manage conflict, and respond thoughtfully instead of reacting emotionally. These skills improve resilience and personal wellbeing.
How can I improve emotional intelligence?
You can improve emotional intelligence through self-reflection, learning from emotional experiences, practicing empathy, and developing awareness of how emotions influence behaviour.
Where can I find emotional wellbeing tools?
You can explore exercises, quizzes, and reflection tools on our
wellbeing tools page.
You can also learn more about emotional intelligence concepts in our
Emotional Intelligence Learning Hub.
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