I will start this post with a quote from D. Goleman’s book “Emotional Intelligence”. On pages 212 and 213 of my book, the author writes this about emotional excellence:
(translation from Polish):
“If the test of one’s ability to deal with others is the ability to assuage their unpleasant emotions, then calming someone who is raging with rage is arguably evidence of the greatest mastery. The data on anger management and emotional contagion seem to indicate that an effective method in such a case may be to first distract the angry person, then to empathise with their situation and see things through their eyes, and finally to interest them in another matter that will elicit more positive feelings – a kind of emotional judo.”
The skill described above consists of three stages:
- diverting the attention of an angry person
- putting yourself in their shoes and seeing things through their eyes
- getting them interested in another matter
The author called this way of dealing with an angry person “emotional judo”.
Perhaps it is worth trying out this three-step method in our lives, for won’t we encounter such angry people in our ‘fast-paced’ world?
Dariusz Łukasik (the author of DARETOLIVE.BLOG)
Translated with http://www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)
One thought on “D. Goleman on “emotional excellence”.”
LikeLiked by 1 person